Shelves of books have been written about how to manage employees effectively. But when it comes to advising employees about how to manage their bosses — there aren’t many.

This imbalance masks a clear truth: The boss-employee relationship is a two-way street. Employees are just as responsible for establishing a good relationship with their managers as those managers are for doing the same for their team.

While that’s true in a perfect world, reality is often quite different. Many employees find themselves working for bad managers, and that makes managing-up strategies important, says Marie McIntyre, a workplace psychologist and long-time consultant for leadership training and teamwork development.

“The problem is that no one is born with the knowledge of how to direct the performance of others,” notes McIntyre, a national management columnist and author of Secrets to Winning Office Politics. “What typically happens is a good employee gets promoted because they’re just that — a good employee. The common thought is if you’re a great nurse, you’ll be a great nursing supervisor. Or if you’re a great sewer inspector, you’ll be a great sewer-inspection supervisor.

“But they often receive no additional managerial training, so we end up with a lot of employees being managed by people with inadequate preparation. So you must learn to build a relationship with your boss.

“Most people think that because there’s a boss to manage you, it’s their job to develop a good relationship and communicate with you effectively. But it’s a two-way relationship, and an important one at that, because that person influences many key things in your life, from salary to the quality of your working environment.”

Empower yourself

So what can an employee do to manage up? Whether you have a great, good or not-so-good supervisor, first accept that, for better or worse, the boss is the boss. Those who don’t accept that fact are doomed to an unwinnable power struggle.

“You have to accept that your boss has organizational power to direct and supervise you,” McIntyre says. “That’s true even if your boss is an idiot. You typically don’t get to pick your boss. If you’re lucky, you get a boss who is a good match for you. The challenge arises when you get a boss who isn’t such a good match.”

It’s also critical to ask for feedback. Many managers practice what McIntyre calls “psychic management,” in which they observe things that concern them but are afraid to provide negative feedback. They bring those issues to the forefront only during an annual performance review, at which time it’s usually a case of too little, too late.

“That’s why it’s good to ask for feedback occasionally,” she says. “Ask your supervisor how things are going from their perspective. What’s going well and what isn’t? Couch it in terms of, ‘How can I make your job easier?’ Granted, it’s really your manager’s responsibility to tell you these things. But if he or she doesn’t, you’re better off asking. And it’s important to be non-defensive when they respond.”

Management styles

Another strategy is to figure out what makes your manager happy. For example, some managers like to be very involved. If it bothers you that your boss asks a lot of questions and seems to be micromanaging, consider that she is simply interested in what you’re doing, and provide the information she wants.

Other managers are very hands-off, and that can be liberating and disconcerting at the same time. “I recently heard from a client who works in a different building than her supervisor and hadn’t had significant contact in two months,” McIntyre says. “That concerned her. Sometimes you need to seek out ways to communicate better. Ask your manager how much information he wants, or what kinds of decisions she wants to be involved in.”

Part of the relationship is making your boss look good, whether you want to or not. Meet deadlines, stay within budget, share information, solve problems and get along with fellow employees. If you attend a professional conference and take in a presentation on new trends in sewer inspections, send your manager a summary.

Or if you hear that another department is being reorganized, ask your manager if he or she knows about it. If your manager has to make an important presentation, develop and share an idea or two that could help make it better.

Be complimentary

It never hurts to give your boss a sincere compliment. “I’m not talking about sucking up, or being a yes-man,” McIntyre notes. “But very few managers are all bad, so you can always find something positive to say.

“If you give someone an honest compliment, they’ll pick up on the sincerity. Of course, you shouldn’t do it every day, or a week before your annual performance review. But resolve to look for positives and express appreciation for them.”

Even if you have a somewhat adversarial relationship with a manager, there are ways to turn negatives into positives. For instance, if you don’t see your supervisor very often, let him know you appreciate being trusted to work independently. If your boss asks a lot of questions, tell her you appreciate her interest in your work.

“Most managers are deluged with problems,” McIntyre says. “We tend to focus on the things that make our lives less pleasant and take the good things for granted. So at the end of a discussion about a work issue, provide a compliment. Maybe it’s as simple as thanking your boss for giving you so much autonomy. Your boss will probably fall off his chair because no one ever does that.”

On the other end of the spectrum, avoid complaining to others about your boss. “It’s one thing to say to a colleague, ‘Boy, Bob really likes to get involved in the details of a project — how do you handle that?’” McIntyre says. “That’s sort of like group therapy to help you work better together. But that’s a lot different than saying, ‘Bob sure is a micromanager, isn’t he?’ Eventually, those kinds of comments get back to your manager. If you have to vent your frustrations, it’s better to do that with a trusted friend or family member.”

Danger zone

McIntyre also advises employees to be wary about managing the transition from one boss to another. The most dangerous points in any employee’s career are when they get a new boss, whether a colleague who gets promoted, someone from another department, or someone new to the organization.

“If it’s someone from outside the organization, all bets are off,” she says. “You may have a great 10-year record, but not with them. The shining star may suddenly become the goat, and the goat may suddenly become the shining star, just because the new boss has a different management style and different expectations.”

The bottom line is that employees should continually challenge themselves to improve the manager-employee relationship.

“I worry about sounding like Little Miss Mary Sunshine, but you can turn a bad relationship into something good,” McIntyre says. “You may hate having a difficult boss, but if you’re smart, you’ll figure out how to develop the best possible relationship, even if he or she is a gold-plated jerk. Your feelings about the person may not change, but you can improve the relationship, and that can make all the difference.”